Dwindling in Unbelief

Try and follow me here for a second because you about to get a glimpse into my thought process and it's mighty jumbled.

In 1 Nephi 12 an angel is showing Nephi a vision about his posterity after the coming of Christ to the Americas. He sees his posterity "dwindle in unbelief". It occurred to me that his posterity didn't fall quickly in unbelief, nor did they plummet into the depths of hell, but rather it was a as google likes to put it, a gradual diminishing of size, amount or strength. The strength of their testimonies diminished. The number of believers diminished and it happened gradually or slowly over time.

I never really understood this process until I went on the mission and I think its because before I was dwindling unawares. I went to church but never really felt like I was learning something, I didn't read my scriptures unless it was for seminary or in church, and I only prayed at the dinner table and when I felt my life was going to crap. It never hit me that I was dwindling. I mean I still knew the Gospel of Christ is true, Joseph Smith is a prophet of God called to be a vessel in order to restore Christ's church upon the Earth, that God is our LOVING Heavenly Father - all the basics of the Gospel. I wasn't, however, doing part two of "believing": I wasn't acting. (And by using past tense I hope you understand that I still struggle with reading daily and having meaningful conversation with my Father in Heaven, the only difference between post mission and pre mission is that I am aware - and that makes it even worse! Oh the struggle of being imperfect am I right?!) On my mission I saw the effects of how this could happen from a small degree of negative consequences to the largest degree and it hurt to see people I had come to love make these decisions.

There were outside forces egging on these people. Keeping the commandments can be difficult with everyone around you telling you its wrong or too much or not in style. The angel said to Nephi that "for the praise of the world do they destroy the saints of God, and bring them down into captivity" (1 Nephi 13: 9) Well, there you go folks! The world is telling us its hard and the world is relentless. And look at their motives. For the praise of the world. Its for a temporal praise. It is worth it to keep the commandments. Like Laman and Lemuel said when Nephi was teaching them, "thou hast declared unto us hard things, more than we are able to bear". Guys, Its not hard doctrine, its hard hearts. Unwilling or prideful hearts. (something I need to work on!) My professor said this and it hit me, oddly enough, hard. Like a "WOW!" moment. The doctrine can be plain and simple but its us who complicates things. I'm good at making a simple thing complicated - I'm a human woman, it just comes naturally.  But remember: its not only possible but so so worth it in the end. I may not have experienced it yet personally but I know its a real promise from God.

Ever heard of that saying things will get worse before it gets better? Heavenly Father is fully aware of the validity of that statement. He "will not suffer that [we] remain in a state of blindness" and confusion and darkness. We have the Bible, the Book of Mormon, personal prayer and with that revelation. He will help us. Nephi saw the destruction and the persecution that the world would render on the followers of Christ. Heavenly Father, in His perfect love and power, is going to run to our aid. He isn't going to throw us into battle unprepared nor is He going to leave us in the midst of turmoil and pity. "...when that day cometh...the work of the Father shall commence in preparing the war for the fulfilling of his covenants which he hath made to his people..." He's got this. He knows. He will help and we will be perfectly fine. In the middle of all that destruction Nephi saw a light. He saw our Savior making it right. Let us let Christ be our light in the darkness and our peace in turmoil. He is there for a reason. I need to take advantage of that more in my life.

Its ok to question and doubt as long as we do it with FAITH. We worry. If you know me at all worrying is one of my special talents. But let's not let dwindle any longer. Let's be aware and then act on that awareness. It going to be ok.

I love this Gospel and the Book of Mormon. I am so privileged to be able to study it this semester and gain new insights. Christ and Heavenly Father LIVE and they LOVE us so infinitely. It's kind of crazy how much. You can do this. We can do this!

Love,
Lexi